4 Mar 2012

When a woman loves a woman

My boss does not like me. That's not a bad thing, nobody likes everybody. But my boss goes out of her way to demonstrate just how much she dislikes me. Every day. Once at Christmas, she wandered around the office, distributing cookies to everybody and went to every desk but mine. She keeps leaving me out of group email invitations to company dinners or nights-out or whatever. This tends to take its toll, after a while. Again, I won't judge. Her company, her rules.

What amuses the hell out of me is why she doesn't like me. At the risk of sounding like every disgruntled male employee ever, my boss doesn't like me because she's a big sodding dyke. I shit you not. Before I came along, the company had a workforce of 50, and about 5 male employees, all of them in Sales. Sales is run by my boss's girlfriend, who would appear to be the bottom in their relationship.

She's also pretty hot. Which means I automatically check her out every time she shimmies past my desk and into my boss's office. Which means I dish out a few compliments at the water cooler. None of which would have happened if I had known they were lovers, of course. I'm a professional, after all. I knew my boss was gay, I just didn't imagine she was tapping hottie from Sales.

Anyway, my boss starts giving me the cold shoulder about three weeks into my joining the company. I'm doing well, I'm making them money, I cannot get my head around why she's being so publicly rude to me. Till three weeks ago when I meet a former employee, and she tells me the whole sordid tale. My boss does not hire men because she doesn't trust men. These were her exact words. Apparently, the last employee who hit on her girlfriend left in an ambulance. That was a chick.

On the one hand, I'm kind of flattered that she would be threatened by me. Her company is worth at least a couple of million. Besides, it's her girlfriend, she's GAY. I really am no competition. On the other hand, this does not a healthy environment create. My balls are all bruised from all the man-handling. I'm just not sure what to put under 'Reason for Resignation.'. Hell, what would I tell a potential employer at an interview?




10 comments:

Shazaf said...

i just saw 'bad bosses' today, and then read this. perhaps if you talk to your boss?? or perhaps not?

icyhighs said...

I can't talk to her Shazafudeen, she says she's allergic to men and starts sneezing when I walk into her room.

Anonymous said...

You ever think maybe your boss's girlfriend is bi ... Which is why your boss is threatened by you ... Just a thought ... :p ...

icyhighs said...

No I checked. She's never been with a guy all her life. More importantly, she's totally out of my league!

Anonymous said...

Maybe she's willing to make an exception this time ... You never know ... And, as far as she being out of your league is concerned ... Things can change ...

Workingdan said...

What is the company's policy on discrimination? I think you may have a case here. Lawsuit!!!

icyhighs said...

You don't know this woman, Dan. She'd fist me before she coughed up cash.

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

Tell them the truth, m'man! "An altercation occurred between my glorious self and my previous employer due to a miscommunication. You see, no one explained to me that the woman I was simply chatting with was the owner's girlfriend - hell, even the girlfriend didn't admit that to me, sir. So next thing I know, I'm catching the cold shoulder and a hostile work environment due to a simple communication. That and said previous boss has a notorious history for not trusting men, though she still went out of her way to hire me due to my excellent references and qualifications."

Thankfully, I don't have to be a professional (at all/yet), so I'd flat-out say "Because she was a raging dyke who hated the sausage and got her PMS up when I came onto her squeeze. Not my fault her fake dick can't withstand the force of my seven tentacles."

Honestly, this kinda gets under my skin. Sure she's the owner of the company, but c'mon - have SOME kinda class! Why blame you for harmless flirting/chatting when said girlfriend never mentioned that the owner/your boss is her beau?

That Bastard From Bellingham said...

ahem, "communication error."

I meant...to write that in...earlier...

icyHighs said...

Haha, I missed this comment somehow, cheers mate!